I used to think the idea of brokenness was defeatist or disrespectful. But as time goes by I see understanding it, understanding that everyone is dealing with something, is part of life and part of love. There's a lot of pretension, but there's even more hiding, even more fear, hurt, longing. It's part of how things are - and it's unpleasant at times, but there's a flipside to it - in that you always have something you can share, if not contribute. If you can interact with someone and see with empathy and understanding that they are of the same spirit you are, in spite of whatever their physical shell is or whatever social constructs they happen to be affiliated with, that's really the most powerful thing you can do. It doesn't cost anything. Not everyone is going to be able to understand the connection or that they can connect with you or deserve it or embrace it. But it's there.

That's what I believe in. There are basically unlimited justifications for hurt or withholding connection, plenty of negative history and sensitive topics; but it's about what you choose regardless of those "reason". Yet even beyond that, sometimes what needs to happen is letting go/separation, even if the other party has good intentions; sometimes that has to happen. Still, through it all, you can share, and you can bring benevolence, and you can at least make an effort to not contribute to desolation. What can you bring peace to, or heal, or share? That question will always be available for you to contribute an answer to, if you seek the opportunity. 

It's important to realize that in socionics, functions never operate in isolation; valued information elements are inherently linked to other valued or unvalued elements


Keep in mind Si valuing also means Ne valuing. Also means not valuing Ni & Se.

In one sense there are two clusters of Si valuing - alpha & delta. Alpha Si valuing is most opposed to gamma, delta most opposed to beta. Si valuing + Fe valuing has a certain softness about things, particularly information and disclosure. Juxtapose that to, say, gamma introtims who (may) almost take pride in not giving a damn about how they come across to people who "don't deserve respect", etc , particularly when they feel a certain mood.

Delta valuing Si comes across more as individuality, and yes, it's "generalized" as delta individualism vs beta collectivism, but I don't think those are useful terms for socionics.

I really, really, really discourage talk about "Si valuing" and just talking about what Si is. I think even for a layman, you have to talk about relationships, psychological lopsidedness, or at the very least preferences.

If you want to talk to laymen about generalized boxes that people fit into, then, ok. That's when the lines blur between socioncics, MBTI, or other typologies; if you are trying to convey some meaning or illustrate a distinction. Otherwise, unless the layperson wants to understand the theory, it's kind of arbitrary that you fuss about what XX valuing means.

Pedagogy: It's about how much depth of understanding/teaching is appropriate

The majority of the conversations I have with people outside of socionics/typology forums are much more practical and not very theory based - and that's ok. But I think it's very important to realize the amount of depth that can be had in a situation. If you are trying to reassure someone that it is ok to be how they are (say, this person is of one quadra and a lot of people are in another quadra and they don't understand why they feel out of place in), there can be some use to explaining how different people might operate or value things differently.

But where does the line cross from someone who just wants a "product" - such as, "tell me what to do to relate better to this person" or "should I distance myself from them?" - compared to someone who is trying to test out, value, or use the tool/theory on its own? It's not an easy thing to discern, and many times people get frustrated when answers or levels of depth change as they learn more or continue playing around with the theory.

There's a certain amount of inevitability around this, but when this is an important transition area for anyone working as a teacher or guide in various disciplines. 
I find it useful to explicitly or overtly state the nature of this transition when someone wants to start taking their understanding deeper; the flipside of course is that they will need to get to know you better and understand how you form and convey ideas, too. 

The process of discerning what someone is looking for and how much they actually want to learn / are willing to learn is definitely an art. 
“Emotions can get in the way of truth-seeking. People do not process information in a neutral way.”
― Cass R. Sunstein

For the longest time emotions were a truth-inhibiting problem that needed to be shut off; they "got in the way". But now I see it as an essential part of experiencing things. Emotions aren't ever wrong, but they have a healthy limit of dwelling on and acting from them. Emotions are a different wavelength of information, and that's ok. I think the distance between the reality of a situation, the interpretation of it, and the visceral, emotional impact - that covers a lot of area and part of authenticity and healthy relations (to self or others) is being aware of each of those arenas.


Just a passing thought on life's trials...

The most challenging parts of your life will likely not make any sense until you have passed through them. Clarity doesn't erase the difficulty of hardship, but there is some peculiar relationship between the nature of what you overcome and comprehension & selection of the path before you.

 

 


I always found this song, especially the opening, kind of soothing. Sometimes you look at what goes on in the world and you feel helpless or hurt, or you are hurt yourself. I said to a friend earlier tonight:

me: I'm sure it did.
and that's good

good that it made me feel better?

me: 
that you could feel that.
some respite of sorts
some validation or affirmation of something like that

yeah


me:  there's no shortage of things that need healing and love in this world.

...and so I thought of King Wisp.


O, can you hear the cries of the world in your heart?
Can you see the vast spiritual poverty that ravages our land?
This is my prayer ...
...that I want you...
...to look at your life...
...would you like to say...
None of you ladies are too old,
None of you men are too old,
None of you children are too young
You're just right, just right.



Virtues like bravery, desire to protect the ones you love, spiritual / moral conviction, and brotherhood, are - quite unfortunately - not exempt from being manipulated by those who don't give one ounce of respect for those same concerns or values.

As such, it should be easy to see how vengeance, reprisal, and retribution are even more able to be wielded, or at least preyed upon... or even, sadly, wasted on efforts that only produce more insanity, suffering, discord, or dehumanization.

So if anyone wants peace, they have to renounce pursuits of dehumanizing violence, and especially the reasoning that justifies it - no matter what form it takes (even more so the more grievous the evidence). There's no diversity when we're all burning in the melting pot. We are sharing this human form, and the bones don't move when its spirit leaves them.

... bones that don't move and the reasons why they don't move will always be inadequate in justifying treating others as less than human, in justifying why fellow humans can't have peace.

They offer no solutions,
only examples of what happens when you don't choose to value
the spirit that leaves them
above the ephemeral structuring of ancient atoms it embodied.



- J

Donations Welcomed!

Thank you to all of my supporters for your generosity and your encouragement of an my quest to foster literacy and promotion of independent analysis, journalism & thought. You also help keep this site ad free - thank you!

By Paypal or Credit Card:

Twitter @JesParent

2014 © JPNOTES
Modified Planer theme by Way2themes